I have been so busy with school ending and getting my new apartment organized that my life, once more, has been put on hold. I don't know whether or not I am lazy or just not driven (and I hope its just an awful phase in my life), but I seem to want to do all these things on my list but in actuality I never find the time to do them all. Forced remedy: it is summer time, and I have so much more free time to do all the things that I want to do but would not ordinarily make time for.
So lately the things I have accomplished:
went to a wine tasting at the Biltmore Estate
learned/ am still learning origami
learned how to play dominoes
learned how to play spades (even though it is not on my list)
completed a drawing, and I am in the process of another while I am at home
Phillies vs. Braves game--- jumbotrannnnnn
Read a book, and onto the next. I am not sure what I will pick; maybe all of my Halvin and Hobbes comics?
went to a wine tasting at the Biltmore Estate
learned/ am still learning origami
learned how to play dominoes
learned how to play spades (even though it is not on my list)
completed a drawing, and I am in the process of another while I am at home
Phillies vs. Braves game--- jumbotrannnnnn
Read a book, and onto the next. I am not sure what I will pick; maybe all of my Halvin and Hobbes comics?
I started my trip home on Tuesday, leaving Macon for Johnson City, TN to stay with Alex. Its one of those trips that unknowingly nails you back down to reality. I knew I missed him a lot, but it was one of those times where you don't actually realize how much you love and miss someone until you see them for the first time in a year or so. In my opinion, some of the best friendships are ones where you may not talk to the person habitually, but when you finally do talk or see them, its like no time has passed by and a genuine interest in each other stays consistent. Alex and I spent most of our time being around each other. Not always talking, or doing something stimulating, but always syncing, if you will.
Setting: 2:50am, Monday, June 23rd 2011- Rain echoing through my room. Sleepless in New Jersey.
Once again, I had an excruciatingly long car trip home to Cherry Hill from TN, 11 hours, filled with rainstorms, absent minded drivers, and one overwhelmingly overloaded mind. Am I the only person my age who worries and over thinks her future? I doubt it, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel this way. I realized I'm not insecure, but rather naturally apprehensive. I let things consume my every thought to the point of self- induced exhaustion. I am hesitant of people coming into my life and taking too much of myself and from myself. I am wary of losing things I have worked so hard to erect or receive. And incessantly, I beat myself up for not being the best automatically at things I know I will be good at with time, and for what? To feel less than my equals? I think we learn our habits and patterns by our surrounding environments early on, and while I lived a privileged lifestyle my entire existence, there were so many lessons that went untaught or missing. As of right now, I have done the most growing and learning in my college career by the people who currently surround me. And as predicted, ultimately there are moments of clarity in my newly scoped life, and they happen when I am home or when I am isolated. I watch my Dad accomplish things that no other person would accomplish if they were in his position, and it metaphorically sucker punches me back into reality, or rather snaps me indisputably into place.Never once does he complain. Never once is he mean or ill tongued. Never once does he say I can't or I won't. He is patient and perseveres always. I think we are so quick to think about ourselves, and what is best for our needs/health that we lose sight of how beautiful a human soul can be. We forget to step back and appreciate everything we are given and who we have in our lives. We forget to treat others well, and remember who our real allies are. I'm no saint, and I try to be kind hearted and unfalteringly loyal, but everyone has their weak moments. I have to remember that we learn from our actions and grow from our imperfections.
Why are we creatures of habit? Why can those habits be so contagious and unfaltering?...why is it so hard to keep habits that are good for us, while the bad habits stir subconsciously everyday?
Change is so good for us, yet we fear it the most.
Playlist: (most mainstream playlist I will probably ever post)
Kaki King- Joi
Beck- True Love Will Find You in the End
Eddie Vedder- Long Road
Train- Mississippi
John Mayer- In Your Atmosphere (album: where the light is)
Jay Nash- Over You
Trespassers William- Different Stars
The Be Good Tanyas- Rain and Snow
Bob Marley- No Woman No Cry
DMB- Out of My Hands ( Live at Radio City with Tim Reynolds)
We are the luckiest of creatures if we experience friendship and companionship.
Once again, I had an excruciatingly long car trip home to Cherry Hill from TN, 11 hours, filled with rainstorms, absent minded drivers, and one overwhelmingly overloaded mind. Am I the only person my age who worries and over thinks her future? I doubt it, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel this way. I realized I'm not insecure, but rather naturally apprehensive. I let things consume my every thought to the point of self- induced exhaustion. I am hesitant of people coming into my life and taking too much of myself and from myself. I am wary of losing things I have worked so hard to erect or receive. And incessantly, I beat myself up for not being the best automatically at things I know I will be good at with time, and for what? To feel less than my equals? I think we learn our habits and patterns by our surrounding environments early on, and while I lived a privileged lifestyle my entire existence, there were so many lessons that went untaught or missing. As of right now, I have done the most growing and learning in my college career by the people who currently surround me. And as predicted, ultimately there are moments of clarity in my newly scoped life, and they happen when I am home or when I am isolated. I watch my Dad accomplish things that no other person would accomplish if they were in his position, and it metaphorically sucker punches me back into reality, or rather snaps me indisputably into place.Never once does he complain. Never once is he mean or ill tongued. Never once does he say I can't or I won't. He is patient and perseveres always. I think we are so quick to think about ourselves, and what is best for our needs/health that we lose sight of how beautiful a human soul can be. We forget to step back and appreciate everything we are given and who we have in our lives. We forget to treat others well, and remember who our real allies are. I'm no saint, and I try to be kind hearted and unfalteringly loyal, but everyone has their weak moments. I have to remember that we learn from our actions and grow from our imperfections.
Why are we creatures of habit? Why can those habits be so contagious and unfaltering?...why is it so hard to keep habits that are good for us, while the bad habits stir subconsciously everyday?
Change is so good for us, yet we fear it the most.
Playlist: (most mainstream playlist I will probably ever post)
Kaki King- Joi
Beck- True Love Will Find You in the End
Eddie Vedder- Long Road
Train- Mississippi
John Mayer- In Your Atmosphere (album: where the light is)
Jay Nash- Over You
Trespassers William- Different Stars
The Be Good Tanyas- Rain and Snow
Bob Marley- No Woman No Cry
DMB- Out of My Hands ( Live at Radio City with Tim Reynolds)
We are the luckiest of creatures if we experience friendship and companionship.
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