Nothing to say

New Beers: In no particular order

• Dogfish chicory stout
• Victory golden monkey
• Victory Storm King
• Ft. Collins Kidd Dark ( Bought a growler of this, so dark and smooth)
• Ommegang Chocolate indulgence Stout ( out of this universe)
• Terrapin Hop karma
• Cerise Cherry Ale ( awful)
• Tommyknocker imp. Nut Brown

Music I have been to lately:

• Dispatch
• The Glitch Mob

Upcoming on Saturday:

• Big Gigantic

Going to Belechere which will be a really good time.

I Dreamt

And I dreamt a most beautiful dream...
I dreamt of a time when everything fell into place.
I dreamt of a time when seconds turned into hours and I became one with all.
I dreamt of a time when I saw the beauty that surrounded me in everything.
A time when the trees whispered secrets about the birds, while crickets clicked their legs.
A time when the sunset painted the sky a bloody orange with swirls of purple.
I dreamt of a place where the heavens met the meadows and the grass whistled with the wind in joy.
A time of pleasure.
A time of unharnessed emotions.
I dreamt of a touch that started curiously at my collar bone and found its way to the small of my thigh.
I dreamt I felt the cool breeze consume me, cool me, lure me.
I dreamt that each hair, golden red, danced with each ray of light in the gentle gusts.
I dreamt that each freckle on my skin told a story of my past, both permanent and private.
I dreamt of a heart so wondrous and filled with desire; a soul that never surrendered in times of despair.
I dreamt of a bone that held my body together with sage and strength.
I dreamt of a companion who never wanted more then I could give and never took more then I offered.
I dreamt a most beautiful dream...
A time when I am me, and I am what I believe in.

Blackberry Gl-Gl-Glitch

Hellooo! I am officially back in Macon and I am happy to be in my new apartment once again and reunited with my wingman. Nothing too exciting is going on in the home front, but I will amuse you today with a play list and a healthy grocery list for those of you who want to feel great all day. The downside of the grocery list is that produce is on the pricier side, but I'll tell you how to cut corners below. 

Note to self: Beastie Boys and The Roots are awesome to to wake up to.

Note to self: Don't ever buy a car battery from the Walmart off of Gray Highway. They suck over there, big time. 

Note to self: Sunscreen and hats will be getting me through this summer. Since when was it okay for the temperature in 31201 to be this relentless. 

Playlist #1 for summer creativity - "Computer Glitch"

Bad Wings - The Glitch Mob

A Dream Within a Dream - The Glitch Mob

Between Two Points feat. Swan - The Glitch Mob  

Drive It Like You Stole It - The Glitch Mob

Fortune Days - The Glitch Mob

Steppin' Razor  - Kraddy Artsy Remix (feat. The Grouch) - edIT Certified Air Raid Material - edIT Straight Heat - edIT Crunk De Gaulle (feat. TTC, Busdriver and D-Styles) - edIT

Full Metal Jacket (175PF Reload) - Liquid Stranger

Rough Road ( Fender Bender Fix) - Liquid Stranger

Psychedelic Stereo - Mimosa

The Apartment Grocery List


WATER        WATER      WATER     WATER
Milk

-Almond (for me)
-Regular ( for him)
Apples
Limes or Lemons ( which ever feel firmer or smell fresher)
Rotisserie Chicken ( Take the skin off of it. The skin is NOT nutritious!)
1lb. of Turkey Breast, low sodium Boar's Head ( the one that has a healthy heart next to it)
Feta Cheese ( add basil to it! )
BROWN RICE ( 1 Cup or 1 1/2 Cup depending on if you worked out)
Tomatoes
Cucumbers
Lettuce ( spinach is the best for you, but what ever you can afford is fine)
Egg Whites
Whole Grain English Muffins
Smucker's All Natural Peanut Butter
Greek Yogurt ( Fage and Oikos are expensive.. stick to Chobani 10 for $10 at Walmart and Kroger)
---* if that is still too expensive,  Dannon Light and Fit is GREAT.
Olive Oil
Balsamic Vinegar
Asparagus
Onion
Bell Peppers
Carrots
Salmon
Tuna---  or Tunafish for those who prefer canned fish because of cost. (BUT REMEMBER Light Mayo if you are doing tunafish)
Triscuits - Reduced Fat
HUMMUS
- Red Pepper
- Spinach and Artichoke
Berries
- Blueberries
- Black Berries
Pickles ( for when you are craving salt)
Celery ( pairs well with, well everything! no eating it by itself. Not healthy.)
Mint Chewing Gum


The grocery list above gives you copious amounts of different ingredients to work with. Season them up! Stay away from butter, go easy on the olive oil. BE CREATIVE! The healthier you eat, the more your body wants ( YOUR METABOLISM SPEEDS UP), and in return it thanks you by giving you better skin ( a glow too!) and energy!

-- Produce is expensive. We all know this, so there are solutions. Coupon collecting is one method. Saving ten cents here and  two dollars there really adds up. Be smart. Be efficient.
--- MULBERRY STREET MARKET: need I say more? Purchase local farm produce that has not been tampered with, and the produce is a much smarter purchase then the ghetto gas/ kroger late night runs for pizzas, icecream, cookies, and Frito Lay's HELL.
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO SHOP AT FRESH MARKET UNLESS YOU FEEL COMPELLED TO DO SO (super expensive).

ATTENTION: FOR THOSE WHO DRINK
- Red wine.  1-2 glasses and you will satisfy your urge to drink and you are throwing back anti- oxidants and calories that are not empty.
* Stay away from beer : Carbs, Calories, and Sugars that are empty.
* White Wine is better than beer but try to stick to Red.

If you are having liquor drinks... pair the liquor with lime juice, club soda, diet coke...sparingly, or water. Worst comes to worse, carry water in your glass with lime or lemon and just do shots, that way you eliminate your fruity sugary coma inducing crap mixers.

Cheers!

Listography

New challenge. Fill my three moleskins by the end of the summer with all my lists.
I am an avid list maker, it runs in my family. It helps me focus and organize thoughts and bullet point errands and check off my chores.

Everyone should try listography. You find out a lot about yourself, especially the similarities between  what your different senses like and dislike. For example: favorite things to touch compared to favorite things to smell (there's even listography books at B&N). Google listography ideas too.  Maybe you will find making lists to be as thrilling yet soothing as I do. Remember, the lists can be of anything!

My favorite moleskins are the tan graph paper mini books. For a pack of three it's $9.00 for paper heaven (the paper is thicker then average paper so my Cross pen ink doesn't bleed through, cha ching).


Today's current to do list:  p.s. thanks Macbook for making all of my pictures backwards. jerk

Note to self: Figure out a name for new computer.


Playlist: ( In the spirit of Dispatch)

Cover This- Dispatch
Prince of Spades- Dispatch
Four Day Trial- Dispatch
Headlights- Dispatch
Past the Falls- Dispatch
Bang Bang- Dispatch
Lightning- Dispatch
Time Served- Dispatch
Mayday- Dispatch


I request they play those songs in that order.

Oh and here's one of my favorite Calvin and Hobbes cartoons ( I have two of the comic books haha)
Click on the cartoon if you can't read it.

iFIGHT

I was stumbling and came across this page full of writing topics, so I am taking the liberty of utilizing it in my blog. Thanks, whoever you are... you helped me.

• http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2O7DqF/www.writing.upenn.edu/library/Mayer-Bernadette_Experiments.html

Note to readers: I doing a really awesome pen pal exchange with Kristen Blackwell. We are sending each other mixed cds over the summer to keep each other sane and sound.

Fact: Throughout high school I was picked on because I never had the perfect hair, the new expensive designer clothes, the mercedes, or the huge mansion. I wasn't the prettiest or the girliest. I wasn't prom queen. I wasn't on the arm of the most popular guy in school. I never ate sushi with the cool kids at school, or ordered in lunch to show off. I lunch boxed it every day. I listened to grunge and metal every morning on my way to school and parked in the back of the parking lot to avoid confrontation. I would sometimes change out of my band t shirts (that I slept in the night prior) in the car because I cared too much about my sleep to wake up early enough to look presentable at school ( we had a dress code that consisted of collard shirts and khakis). I kept short punk hair so I never had to do it in the mornings. I joined cheerleading and every other club to find solace and refuge, but quickly learned they were never waiting in any club or behind some door for me. I was a loser who escaped the world with music, art, and a macbook. I sought out comfort in other kids like me in art programs and through mutual friends. I found comfort amongst misfits and outcasts who felt kicked to the wayside. It did not take long for me in school to realize I had very few friends who I liked to surround myself with because no one was ever on my level intellectually ( that is not to say I was so brilliant that no one was my equal... but rather no one experienced and processed life on the same wavelength as me). I took first period and the period after lunch as my free periods and sat in the art room. I wasn't the best artist, but I was good enough to shine in some part of the collective school day. I ran my heart out on the field everyday I had lacrosse practice. I dreamt I was alone on the field and no one was harassing me. I dreamt I was quickly roaming and looking for an exit strategy. Until senior year ended, I thought that if I just kept my nose down, and my feet firmly planted, I would escape my life and be carried with the wind. I would be blown to my next destination, without any questions asked. Everything changed for me in college. The ugly duckling turned into a swan by making a positive reputation for herself, by growing into her own skin, by learning that girls who 'have to' live up to strict expectations envy her free willed nature, and lastly learning that the words 'yes' and 'doormat' go hand in hand.

The truth is, after all the soul searching I have done, all the amazing places I have been, all the partying I adhere to, all the friends I have made a long the way, and all the intimacy I have experienced with friends and loves....  nothing has changed. I am still this 5'3 redheaded, glasses wearing, double bass loving, mouthy kid who dreams of bigger plans and possibilities each day than herself is tall. A girl who believes there are people out there who love as big and as much as she does every day. I fight severe anxiety every day without medication, and I complain all the time about how hard things are and how much my life sucks at the moment. But who the hell am I to get down on myself about not being enough or worthy or most importantly, lucky. 

Tonight's blog is dedicated to my friend. I owe it to myself and to you to make a list of the top ten positives in my life, because I have so much going for me yet I sulk and still think like my sixteen year old self.

* each starts with: ' I am lucky to'

1. I am lucky to have my health and a functioning brain.
2. I am lucky to have a roof over my head and food to eat ( clothing too).
3. I am lucky to have an education that will help provide for me in the long run.
4. I am lucky to have a family who supports myself and my decisions.
5. I am lucky to have friends, both new and old and both near and far.
6. I am lucky to be able to hear, because without my hearing I wouldn't know what 'I love you', or the sound of rain, or the sound of instruments, heartbeats, and breathing sounds like.
7. I am lucky to have a wild imagination. It takes me any and everywhere.
8. I am lucky to have you.
9. I am lucky to be pretty and have curves.
10. I am lucky to be unique with quirks and imperfections, because being perfect and pristine is too hard of a job to keep up with.

Never stop being yourself. You only have what is truly yours, so make the most of what you have.

Playlist:
Better off this Way- A Day to Remember
All I Want- A Day to Remember

For You, Troubled Mind.

I have been so busy with school ending and getting my new apartment organized that my life, once more, has been put on hold. I don't know whether or not I am lazy or just not driven (and I hope its just an awful phase in my life), but I seem to want to do all these things on my list but in actuality I never find the time to do them all. Forced remedy: it is summer time, and I have so much more free time to do all the things that I want to do but would not ordinarily make time for.

So lately the things I have accomplished:
went to a wine tasting at the Biltmore Estate
learned/ am still learning origami
learned how to play dominoes
learned how to play spades (even though it is not on my list)
completed a drawing, and I am in the process of another while I am at home
Phillies vs. Braves game--- jumbotrannnnnn
Read a book, and onto the next. I am not sure what I will pick; maybe all of my Halvin and Hobbes comics?

I started my trip home on Tuesday, leaving Macon for Johnson City, TN to stay with Alex. Its one of those trips that unknowingly nails you back down to reality. I knew I missed him a lot, but it was one of those times where you don't actually realize how much you love and miss someone until you see them for the first time in a year or so. In my opinion, some of the best friendships are ones where you may not talk to the person habitually, but when you finally do talk or see them, its like no time has passed by and a genuine interest in each other stays consistent. Alex and I spent most of our time being around each other. Not always talking, or doing something stimulating, but always syncing, if you will.

Setting: 2:50am, Monday, June 23rd 2011- Rain echoing through my room. Sleepless in New Jersey.


Once again, I had an excruciatingly long car trip home to Cherry Hill from TN, 11 hours, filled with rainstorms, absent minded drivers, and one overwhelmingly overloaded mind. Am I the only person my age who worries and over thinks her future? I doubt it, but it doesn't change the fact that I feel this way. I realized I'm not insecure, but rather naturally apprehensive. I let things consume my every thought to the point of self- induced exhaustion. I am hesitant of people coming into my life and taking too much of myself and from myself. I am wary of losing things I have worked so hard to erect or receive. And incessantly, I beat myself up for not being the best automatically at things I know I will be good at with time, and for what? To feel less than my equals? I think we learn our habits and patterns by our surrounding environments early on, and while I lived a privileged lifestyle my entire existence, there were so many lessons that went untaught or missing. As of right now, I have done the most growing and learning in my college career by the people who currently surround me. And as predicted, ultimately there are moments of clarity in my newly scoped life, and they happen when I am home or when I am isolated. I watch my Dad accomplish things that no other person would accomplish if they were in his position, and it metaphorically sucker punches me back into reality, or rather snaps me indisputably into place.Never once does he complain. Never once is he mean or ill tongued. Never once does he say I can't or I won't. He is patient and perseveres always. I think we are so quick to think about ourselves, and what is best for our needs/health that we lose sight of how beautiful a human soul can be. We forget to step back and appreciate everything we are given and who we have in our lives. We forget to treat others well, and remember who our real allies are. I'm no saint, and I try to be kind hearted and unfalteringly loyal, but everyone has their weak moments. I have to remember that we learn from our actions and grow from our imperfections.


Why are we creatures of habit? Why can those habits be so contagious and unfaltering?...why is it so hard to keep habits that are good for us, while the bad habits stir subconsciously everyday?
Change is so good for us, yet we fear it the most.


Playlist: (most mainstream playlist I will probably ever post)
Kaki King- Joi
Beck- True Love Will Find You in the End
Eddie Vedder- Long Road
Train- Mississippi
John Mayer- In Your Atmosphere (album: where the light is)
Jay Nash- Over You
Trespassers William- Different Stars
The Be Good Tanyas- Rain and Snow
Bob Marley- No Woman No Cry
DMB- Out of My Hands ( Live at Radio City with Tim Reynolds)




                        We are the luckiest of creatures if we experience friendship and companionship.

Wandering Soul

Playlist for the week:
Is There a Ghost In My House- Band of Horses
Timestretch- Bassnectar
Sure Shot- Beastie Boys
Bring the Noise- Benny Benassi & Public Enemy
Cloud Nine- Big Gigantic
Lucid Dreams- Big Gigantic
All We Have- Brett Dennan
Blood On Our Hands- Death from Above 1979
Little Girl- Death from Above 1979
Prince of Spades- Dispatch
Rise- Eddie Vedder
Scar Tissue- RHCP

What the hell am I supposed to do with my life after school.
Something has to support me with my art degrees. Right?
What should I put into my portfolio?
Why can't I have the answers. I am tired of all the pressure and bad dreams. I sleep best from 5am to 10am now because of my dreams. They consume me.
Teeth dreams, death dreams, vanishing dreams. My soul is restless, my brain is clouded, and my feet keep running.

Lost For TWO Months: PART ONE

Note to self: We are so afraid of losing things we already have.
Remember: Everything is a trend.


For those of you who are avid and loyal followers, you may now welcome me back. I lost myself for a couple months, not to a haze, but rather a whirlwind. It's gusts were powerful and persuasive, but I triumphed.


Chandler came home Thursday. I have to go see him.


My birth father wants to know everything about me. From basic molecular structure to scars. Its pretty awesome.


Aaron and I are moving in together. BOOOOOM.


Note to self: wheat beer is my favorite. I like/ love it unpasteurized and unfiltered.
Next comes rye pale ale then stouts.
The Iron Birch. The new beer in town. Art work soon to come.


New beer:  Left Hand milk stout.


I write tonight about interpersonal subconscious communication and creativity. I am a dreamer. I day dream more than I actually institute.There are moments when I have dreams that never stay long enough for me to act on them, and there are unflinching moments of desire and want for more. I want so often but seldom take the initial steps. I go through phases every year that are triggered by circumstance. Some circumstances are annual, but for the most part their arrival dates are unforeseeable ( if that makes sense). I lack the discipline and self determination. Example: this blog, I have not written in over two months, which means I already broke my vow I instituted for myself. Well, I have this friend who recently told me something that really put my wants into perspective: Now its your turn to listen:
           Success and passion do not find you. You find them. It's not about waiting around for the right idea or opportunity to come along while in the mean time you are sitting on your ass. Its not about being the first to come up with an idea, its about grabbing a hold of something you really love, and practicing it over and over again. While doing so, you personalize it and stylize it so that your interest, that you love so much, is recognizable as your own. Success comes from practice. Passion comes from hobbies and interests. If you want to be successful and happy doing so, you have to work hard but at the same time, practice something over and over again until you make it your own. So that the quality of work is notably yours even though the idea or hobby has been around for some time.
         There is a level were if the chemistry is right between two people, they can communicate their needs without words. This blog started because of a list and mind full of desires and needs. That list derived from a need to be active. A need to live. Actively utilizing my brain and body every day. When two people share one thought and one desire, its a connection on a subconsciously interpersonal level. There's a desire for myself to be more hands on and more intellectually and physically tuned, and the person sitting next to me at the time said the exact thing. Pretty awesome. Goodbye television, I have never owned you before or given you the time of day in fact, but your lethargic and zombie like side effects are not of interest in the newly established household. Its learning time and bike riding time. Remember that our bodies are instruments and we can gauge them however we like. We can hyper sense if we implore ourselves to tap into that portion of the brain.


Quote:
Out of the meaningless practical shapes of all that is living or lifeless
Joined with the artist's eye, new life, new form, new colour.
Out of the sea of sound the life of music,
Out of the slimy mud of words, out of the sleet and hail of verbal imprecisions,
Approximate thoughts and feelings, words that have taken the place of thoughts and feelings,
There spring the perfect order of speech, and the beauty of incantation.
-T.S. Eliot




Playlist is not to be taken lightly. May not be pleasing to the ears of pansies (except the ray, kanye, and vedder). haha.



Repo Man- Ray LaMontagne and The Pariah Dogs
The Devil's In the Jukebox- Ray LaMontagne and The Pariah Dogs
Hard Sun- Eddie Vedder
No Transitory- Alexisonfire
Sharks and Danger- Alexisonfire  (such a great breakdown)
That Girl Possessed- Alexisonfire
All of the Lights- Kanye West (guilty pleasure, Oh I think so)
Shame On a Nigga- Wutang Clan
500 Miles- Boombox
You've Got the Love- Florence and The Machine
Rabbit Heart (SLOF MAN dubstep remix)- Florence and The Machine
A Pillar of Salt- The Thermals
A State Like Yours- The Thermals
Speak the Truth- Throwdown

Hello Moon, Hello Stars in the Sky

Setting: The Lair
Time: afternoon
Music: Finely tuned to my liking.

Playlist for the week:
Take Your Time- Paper Diamond
Imagine All the Possibilities- Paper Diamond
Countdown- The Black Keys
Grown so Ugly- The Black Keys
Hold Me in Your Arms- The Black Keys
Please Bleed- Ben Harper ( Live from Mars album)
Forgiven- Ben Harper ( Live from Mars album)
How We Know- The Thermals
Feeling Better- Michael Menert
#27- DMB ( Little Red Bird)
Light of Day- Big Gigantic
Need a Dollar- Big Gigantic

For those of you who are wondering if I have been keeping up with my list, the answer is yes. If you reference back to it, you will see things have been crossed off. I have been blogging every week too, but the last two week's entries I did not post because I wanted them to be personal ones. Attached below will be a couple pictures from my list. The only thing that has not taken off the ground is my cooking. I eat the same things ritually because I only eat certain foods. It is only when I indulge that the real food fanatic comes out. Unlike the lucky people who from planet Camino (get the reference??), there are some of us who have to work at keeping healthy and fit consciously daily. I despise the lucky.
  (Nasty)(Gave Blood)


On another note, Carl approved of Taylor and I going to Texas in search of one Byron James Teague. I'm beyond happy. Thanks to my lionhearted brother Matt, I skyped with Carl so I could talk to him about it in depth, face to face. Fierce fisted (sounds like a Sioux name, doesn't it?) Sethy called me this week as well. Topic: Ruining a family potentially because of ones own selfishness. Conclusion: I will be contacting Byron in hopes he is reciprocative to meeting myself and Big. I never considered that I could cause harm from my sheer curiosity; That is the last thing I want to do. I was really looking forward/anticipating this trip. It was supposed to be part of the healing process..but what happens if I never get the chance without the attempt? I know I could recondition myself from experience, but how does someone heal when they have nothing concrete to patch. This hasn't been an easy year on me, and once again, I feel like I am growing up too quickly.
  

Remember:  You don't need hundreds, you need a handful. This is my handful. Some newer than others, but newer just means shinier. Same quality.

I watched this inspiring film on Chuck Close, and it was about how he recovered from a paralyzing spinal blood clot. For those of you who don't know who he is, look up his work pre- and post- blood clot, fantastic. When Close went through rehab, he was given paintbrushes and canvas and was told to paint. He did so..with his mouth. Permanently wheelchair bound and lacking the ability to move his hands, he held the brush with his teeth, and even with his given circumstances, he managed to work though his problems. Amazing.



On a brighter note, Asheville last weekend was sensational. My sidekick and I wandered the streets drunkenly and tried new beers, looked at breweries, talked about them, saw Spiritual Rez, and lost ourselves under colorful stars. Remember: Imagination and creation can take millions anywhere, externally and internally.

6 New Beers:

-Stoudt's winter ale

-Highland St. Terese's white ale

-Catawba valley white zombie

-Terrapin rye pale ale

-Big boss Belgian blonde

-Hoegaarden ale

2 Concerts not of my choosing:
-Spiritual Rez
-Old Crow Medicine Show


Do Not Take Photos without Consent.

Some people feel the rain

Playlist for the week: due to the weather this week my playlist is a slow and steady one:


How Come- Ray LaMontagne
Kangaroo- David Gray
All at Once- Jack Johnson
Naked As We Came- Iron and Wine
Oh my God, Whatever, etc.- Ryan Adams
Neon (acoustic)- John Mayer
Forgiven- Ben Harper (Live from Mars)... who doesn't like slide guitars?
Old Man- Neil Young
Ohio- Neil Young
Keep Your Hands Off Her-Black Keys
So He Won't Break- Black Keys

Lately, I have been having these intense red meat cravings. So weird.


Do not take these images without permission.

It's Never too Late to be Brave

Background noise: one playlist courtesy of the two songs I listen to before I write.

So there hasn't been much writing on my end because I have been feeling pretty discouraged lately. Sometimes I feel like my blog is worthless and that it just tries to prove how individual I am, but I have to keep telling myself this is for me, this is my therapy, and nowhere in these entries do I try to impress any reader. Its been rough not doing everything I want to lately because all the things I want to do just don't seem to make it into the weekly schedule. Since when were days so short?  There must be a dozen thoughts entering and exiting my brain every 15 minutes; most of them writable and tonight's thought is an inner battle one extremist and introvert silently contests daily.

I would like to start this entry with a few quick points: One of the best moments that happens to me( it comes few and far between) is when the perfect song plays at the perfect moment and things just come together.
Note to self: vinyl is God.
Bloodymarys are wonderful on Sundays.
I'm in the market for a 50cm framed road bike.
I daydream of how my life will be too often during class or while I run.
Ben Folds Five really bothers me.
I made chili last week, that was my big cooking accomplishment and it was so damn good.
Children scare me because they are so fragile.
Lauren Kritsas, words can't describe tonight.


To my family: please do not tell Dad until I am ready to do so.

This entry is written to enlighten all on my upcoming adventure.
Date: First week of March
Where: Macon, Ga to Corpus Christi, Tx
Who: Taylor Ruffo Extraordinaire and Myself

For those of you who really know me, then you know I am adopted, and that I have already found my birth mother.  But this trip is not about the xx chromosomal set, rather its about the xy.
For someone like me, we are born with a life that has a few pieces missing, and without patching those holes, we never feel completely ourself. The solution: thatching. This is why I will be documenting the processes to remind myself of the adventure and the lessons I learned a long the way this year. This trip is not something I decided to do on a whim, and this is not something that I decided to do when I woke up one morning.
 Let me begin by expounding on background information. My brother Seth is adopted as well. We have gone through a lot of the same emotional roller coasters, you know... the woah is me and who the hell am I. Where do I come from? Do I look like someone...anyone? Seth found is birthmother maybe 5 years before I did. His story is a beautiful one (which you can actually find online) which has always been somewhat of an inspiration to me. Recently Seth found his father, and it changed his life for the better. Now I'm not saying my story may work out the same, but I have to give it a shot. We never know the outcomes of the chances we did not take ( if there is a lesson you take away from this, let it be such ).The interesting part about all of this is that adopted kids, more so siblings such as Seth and myself, have the same desire at the same time and never speak about it to each other. I have been thinking about this trip for a few years now, but never had the courage to do it until now.
(Seth and his biological father)


















His name: Byron James Teague
               --- Father of one.
               --- Married to Karla.
               --- Car enthusiast and music connoisseur alike.
How do I know all of this you ask?
With the help of the internet and one really wonderful friend, I found what he looks and what his family life entails through the respectfully hated portal, Myspace.

Dear Nitch,
 I'm leaving the first weekend of spring break and heading to Texas. Taylor and I will be documenting the trip, and we will be going to Houston, Corpus Christi, and hopefully Dallas. Between friends, Taylor's family, and money I have saved up, we will be staying in different places, and in the process I will be making my way to the front steps of one Byron J. Teague. I'm nervous, like any human being would be but I have no second thoughts about this trip. This is how I am looking at this whole circumstance: No matter what the outcome, things will be okay. If things go terribly wrong, I can only grow stronger and a piece will be thatched ultimately and slowly. If things go smoothly, I can commend myself on sincere bravery and strength knowing that a piece was glued in place not single handedly.

Chapter:
I am putting something together for you. Come the first Chapter when we return from break, I ask that you stay behind not just for me, but for yourselves.

Seth:
You're inspiring and so is your story. I love you, unconditionally.
Matt:
I know you're going to call me as soon as you read this, and I anticipate our phone call with great eager.

Follow me

This week's accomplishments to come:


1 picture per cooked meal.

1 model car ordered
this is for the grease monkeys..



I am officially excited to announce the pub crawl with Jamie Joyner and others in Atlanta the 21st-22nd.
Anyone is welcome to join. It will be extremely fun and you'll make it onto the Polaroid wall. More to come of this soon.

I Walk a Fine Line Between the Right and the Real

Thought of the day:  'The obsession of posting one's every thought on a status website, blog, or facebook'. An interesting and possibly controversial thought to share with the web/technological community, so here I go. Why do we document our every move and thought? Is it because we crave human interaction, in any shape or form? Do we crave the love of attention or how about how many 'likes' or 'comments' we receive on a random day? Stalking walls, pictures, statuses and friendships...For the untainted web community (ages 40+)  these thresholds are used strictly to keep in touch with those who are far away (but even then, doesn’t one still obsess over other peoples lives, checking up too often?). But alas, we are all guilty victims of this cyclical conundrum. Since when was it okay to live for other people's business and not one’s own? Life isn't about honing in on what this person said via message, or what that person did last night on Greek Row that is publicized by pictorial evidence (WHICH IS ALWAYS an amusing and engulfing topic). I know this blog is the Mecca hypocrite to this thought of the day, but its purpose is more than voicing my thoughts publically for all to read. This blog is therapeutic to me (and IT has been for A LOT OF YOU as well who are now inspired to go experience life beyond the normal routine because of my writings). This blog is a part of my 2011 road to revival. Too long have I lived for others, and too long have I faded into the background of my own existence. Life, definition, to exist externally and internally, I repeat externally and INTERNALLY. This blog is the constant reminder to live internally everyday, because if I didn’t, I would have nothing to show for it to myself. I post this blog on facebook in hopes that it will liberate any who feel the way I do, trapped and having difficulty piecing together what is missing. For me, its adventures and interactions I lack. In essence, instead of stressing over these portals and the people on them, stress over what you won’t be able to finish in one day that will transfer over to the next.

Note to self: I do best when working alone and in the quiet.

If I can't concentrate on writing, I listen to two songs only. One by Iron and Wine and one by DMB (for the DMB junkies you’ll know what this means:  .09.09.05). Then I begin.

Galvanized wine- wine made in tanks, not in barrels. Opinion tonight to come... OPINION: the bottle shown below was very tasty. Thank you Sarah for being allergic to oak, or else I would not have tried this.

Sarah macconnell is one of the most wonderful friends I have. Whoever says married people are not fun, are retarded.

Dunkin Donuts egg white flatbread sandwiches are crack.

Heat is a precious commodity and no one should go without it.

It’s been nice not having cable and internet; it sets the mind and soul free.

Aderol gets shit done.

I have a strong like for ellipses in writings. I feel like I can hear personality through them.

It makes me really proud that I have read every single book that’s on my bookshelves, a part from Aesop’s fables, but that book I bought for a different reason and I will blog about it later.

Declaration: for anyone who tries to make a career out of art, you should be commended. It’s harder to use your creativity at most hours of the day then it is to work a routined 9 to 5.

**Challenge: For those who are bored: do something that involves stimulation of the brain. Write, draw,     BLOG, paint, decorate, take pictures, make music. Do something to call your own.

This is for the people who have soul flowing through their veins, try Freddie King. He’s my favorite musician of all time. When things get bad or I’m parading around my room with a beer in my hand whilst in my underwear with a Cheshire cat grin, He amplifies the parading, the weightless mood, and the smile x10.

**Next, try a play list consisting of John Butler Trio and Dave Matthews. This play list is for your days tangled up in your sheets or on Sundays with the sun warming your skin. Only live DMB songs because lets face it, whoever has been to a DMB concert knows there is no comparison between his live music and his studio albums. The play list should start with the song Nowhere man-JBT followed by Stolen Away on 55th and 3rd- Dmb. Cortez the Killer (Dmb live at Central Park) and Groovin Slowly- JTB should be included in this set.

I live below drag queens. It’s going to be an interesting semester/summer. Maybe they can teach me a thing or two about inner beauty. More to come of that saga.

It was 11:50am when i started, and I finished this at 2; I have been up since 7am because of excitement and a head full of thoughts.

---1. MOVED DOWNTOWN. Well guys, the first of the list has been checked off. I moved downtown, and not just downtown, but I moved with my best friend/ big sister. You know you hear about how living with your closest friend can ruin a friendship, but I don’t think that’ the case with us. It may be bumpy, but we communicate, and we are comfortable with silence and alone time. Just as much as I like to seclude myself into my room, she does too. It’s about boundaries with a splash of give and take. I’m excited for the +/- 2 year adventure together and whatever it may bring, Big.

posted below: whats its like living in a house with no heat for two days.